A rolling stone...

"You can't always get what you want..."

I was happily married for over five years. Two months before our six-year anniversary, my husband walked out and didn't come back. I began divorce proceedings. I didn't want it, and when he took forever and a day to sign, I thought maybe, just maybe, he wanted to return. But three years and a barrel full of counseling later, I know he's never coming back. My husband is gone. All I have now is my memories. And, of course, the kids.

They're amazing, you know. They have come so far since left. But every once in a while, I'm reminded that I'm not the only one who misses him. Today is Easter Sunday, and he called. I let them talk to him, but I said, "Michael's on the phone," when I handed it over.

The last two weeks they've been asking about their dad. Why did he leave? Where did he go? I debated about how much to tell them. I told them all last week that they didn't have a dad, which is, in effect, true. Dad is as dad does. They DO have someone who takes them fishing. And hiking. And drives the car on long trips. And goes to work every day to provide for the family. That person is me.

They also have someone who makes dinner. Who ensures that the homework gets done. Who reads them stories. Who gives them baths. Who tucks them in. Who heals a skinned knee or a bump on the head with a kiss. In other words, a mother. And that person is me, too.

Lately, the older ones, Jake and Jane, have been asking for their dad.

"You can't always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..."